"Robin" from TTPD
This week’s reflection is inspired by "Robin,"a song that feels like a conversation with the child within us—the bold, curious, and fearless part of ourselves that existed before fear, shame, and self-doubt crept in. For me, it’s a reminder of the unrestrained curiosity I may have lost along the way and the resilience I’ve worked hard to reclaim in recovery.
The lyrics speak to the messiness of growth, the courage it takes to embrace imperfection, and the joy of rediscovering what makes us feel alive. As I reflected on "Robin," I found echoes of my own recovery journey—how structure and accountability gave me the foundation to rebuild, and how every step forward felt like reclaiming a piece of that lost freedom.
"The Manuscript" from TTPD
The Manuscript: Reflection of My Life is a story of revisiting the past to understand the present—a journey of peeling back the layers of pain, love, loss, and resilience. Much like flipping through an old book, I’ve found myself rereading chapters of my life that I thought I’d closed long ago. These chapters are messy, complicated, and sometimes painful, but they’re also filled with lessons that shaped who I am today.
"Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus" from TTPD
This week’s reflection is on "Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus," a song that mirrors the emotional wreckage of my marriage. The lyrics delve into how emotional distance, distractions, and unresolved hurt tear apart relationships and, more importantly, how personal growth can lead one partner forward while the other remains stagnant.
"The Albatross” from TTPD
This week, I’ve been reflecting on Taylor Swift’s "The Albatross," a song that delves into the struggles of inherited burdens, the weight of addiction, and the battle for control. The lyrics struck a particularly deep chord with me as they resonate with my own experience of trying to distance myself from the addiction that runs in my family, only to find myself caught in its grip. This post is about breaking down the song and exploring how it connects to my own journey, particularly the realization that the fight against addiction is a battle I never expected to face, but one that I couldn’t ignore any longer.
"imgonnagetyouback" from TTPD
"imgonnagetyouback" by Taylor Swift dives into the messy mix of seeking validation, dealing with guilt, and struggling with self-worth. This song hit me hard, especially when I think about my most recent relationship. This relationship was with right after the relationship post divorce blew up. I loved the attention he gave me, but deep down, I knew I wasn’t serious about him. This post is about breaking down the song and how it ties into those feelings and experiences.
"The Black Dog" from TTPD
This song delves deep into the complex emotions tied to my affair and its aftermath, revealing how intertwined love, betrayal, and guilt have been in my journey. The lyrics echo the ongoing struggle to reconcile the thrill of secrecy with the pain of betrayal and the challenge of rebuilding trust in my marriage. Through this reflection, I see how the remnants of that connection continue to impact me, even as I work to move forward. It’s a reminder of the enduring power of unresolved feelings and the importance of facing them head-on, no matter how difficult it may be. The song also underscores the need for self-compassion as I navigate the path to healing and strive to reclaim my sense of self in the wake of such deep emotional turmoil.
“Clara Bow” from TTPD
This song is a powerful reflection of the pressures of success, beauty, and identity, and how they’ve played out in my life. The lyrics resonate deeply with my experiences of trying to stay true to myself in a world that often demands perfection. Through this song, I see the toll these expectations have taken on my mental health and the ways I turned to addiction to cope. As I keep working through these challenges, I’m reminded of how important it is to be kind to myself and the strength it takes to stay real, even when the world is asking for something else.
“The Alchemy” from TTPD
Every verse and chorus of "The Alchemy" mirrors my journey through addiction and recovery. It’s a song about hope, determination, and triumph over struggles, reminding me of the importance of resilience and the power of enduring love.
“I Can Do It With A Broken Heart!” from TTPD
My husband always said he loved me, but our relationship was plagued by the consequences of my addiction. When things fell apart, I felt shattered, yet I kept pretending everything was fine. The need to keep up appearances while feeling broken inside is something many of us in recovery can relate to. The act of "grinning like I'm winning" while everything inside me was falling apart became a survival mechanism.
"LOML" from TTPD
My husband was my rock, supporting me through the highs and lows of my addiction. He was a complex mix of emotions – hurt by my actions but still trying to stand by me. He told me countless times that I was the love of his life, and I believe he meant it. But the damage my addiction caused created a rift that words alone couldn’t heal. His steadfast support was both a blessing and a burden. It made me realize how deeply I had hurt him and how much I had taken for granted. Despite his reassurances, the pain and betrayal from my addiction were always there, a constant reminder of the trust I had broken.