"The Albatross” from TTPD
At Swift Steps, we use lyrics and songs to reflect on our own experiences with addiction, mental health, and recovery—both mine and our members.
This week's song struck a chord with many of us, leading to some amazing discussions and insights. I want to assure you that I will never share what our members discuss because of our confidentiality promises.
However, I do gather my own thoughts before the meetings, and I’m excited to share them with you each week!
“I want to assure you that I will never share what our members discuss because of our confidentiality promises.“
This week, I’ve been reflecting on Taylor Swift’s "The Albatross," from TTPD, a song that delves into the struggles of inherited burdens, the weight of addiction, and the battle for control. The lyrics struck a particularly deep chord with me as they resonate with my own experience of trying to distance myself from the addiction that runs in my family, only to find myself caught in its grip. This post is about breaking down the song and exploring how it connects to my own journey, particularly the realization that the fight against addiction is a battle I never expected to face, but one that I couldn’t ignore any longer.
If you wanna take a listen:
Verse 1
“Wise men once said
‘Wild winds are death to the candle’
A rose by any other name is a scandal
Cautions issued, he stood
Shooting the messengers
They tried to warn him about her”
Growing up with two parents that struggled with addiction, I was constantly warned about the dangers of following in their footsteps. The warnings were relentless—“Addiction runs in families,” “You need to be careful.” It felt like everyone around me was trying to prepare me for an inevitable fall, as if these “wild winds” could easily destroy my life. But I saw addiction as a choice, a weakness that I would never succumb to. I dismissed those warnings, thinking I could control everything through my willpower, never realizing how deeply the seeds of addiction were already planted within me.
“I dismissed those warnings, thinking I could control everything through my willpower, never realizing how deeply the seeds of addiction were already planted within me.”
Chorus
“Cross your thoughtless heart
Only liquor anoints you
She's the albatross
She is here to destroy you”
“Suddenly, the burden I thought only others carried was mine to bear. ”
When I was prescribed opiates, everything I thought I knew about addiction was turned upside down. The very thing I believed I could avoid—the albatross—became my reality. Suddenly, the burden I thought only others carried was mine to bear. The “liquor” in this context was the opiates, anointing me and marking the beginning of a struggle I never imagined I’d face. The albatross, once just a symbol of a burden or curse, became something tangible, something that was out to destroy me.
Verse 2
“Wise men once said
"One bad seed kills the garden"
"One less temptress
One less dagger to sharpen"
Locked me up in towers*
But I'd visit in your dreams
And they tried to warn you about me”
The idea that “one bad seed kills the garden” echoes the narrative that I built my life around. I spent years trying to distance myself from my parents’ struggles, believing that by making the right choices, I could avoid their fate. I thought of addiction as a “bad seed” that I could simply refuse to plant. But the truth is, that seed was already there, deep within me, passed down through my genes. No matter how much I tried to avoid it, it was there.
Chorus
“Cross your thoughtless heart
Only liquor anoints you
She's the albatross
She is here to destroy you”
The repeated chorus serves as a stark reminder of the relentless nature of addiction, especially when it’s something you’re predisposed to.
“But in truth, I was thoughtless—ignorant to the truth that addiction doesn’t discriminate based on how strong you think you are.”
I spent so much of my thinking my willpower alone would shield me. But in truth, I was thoughtless—ignorant to the truth that addiction doesn’t discriminate based on how strong you think you are.
It anoints you regardless, and once it takes hold, it becomes a part of you. The albatross was my inheritance.
“Devils that you know
Raise worse hell than a stranger
She's the death you chose
You're in terrible danger
Bridge
And when that sky rains fire on you
And you're persona non grata
I'll tell you how I've been there too
And that none of it matters”
“The “devils that you know” are the addictions that run in families, the ones you can’t escape because they’re part of your very being.”
The “devils that you know” are the addictions that run in families, the ones you can’t escape because they’re part of your very being. These devils are far more dangerous than any external temptations because they’re already within you, waiting to surface.
For me, the addiction I always feared but never acknowledged became the “death” I chose when I started down the path of substance abuse. I didn’t realize the danger until it was too late, until I was already consumed by it.
When the full weight of my addiction hit me—when I became a “persona non grata” in my own life—I had to confront the reality that I wasn’t so different from my parents. I had walked the same path.
Verse 3
“Wise men once read fake news
And they believed it
Jackals raised their hackles
You couldn't conceive it
You were sleeping soundly
When they dragged you from your bed
And I tried to warn you about them”
Chorus
“So I crossed my thoughtless heart
Spread my wings like a parachute
I'm the albatross
I swept in at the rescue
The devil that you know
Looks now more like an angel
I'm the life you chose
And all this terrible danger”
Outro
“So cross your thoughtless heart
She's the albatross
She is here to destroy you”
The devil I thought I knew—my addiction—was a danger I didn’t fully comprehend until it was too late. But in confronting it, I found that even in the darkest moments, there’s a chance for redemption. The albatross, while a symbol of burden, also represents the reality that facing our demons can lead to transformation. I chose a path filled with danger, but in doing so, I’ve come to understand that it’s never too late to rewrite our story.
Conclusion
This song’s lyrics resonate deeply with my journey through addiction, reflecting the painful yet necessary process of confronting the demons that haunt us. It serves as a reminder that while addiction may feel like an inevitable fate, there’s always hope for change, and sometimes, facing the albatross head-on is the first step toward healing. My story isn’t unique, but it’s a testament to the fact that recovery, while difficult, is always possible when we stop running and start listening to the warnings within and around us.
“Recovery, while difficult, is always possible when we stop running and start listening to the warnings within and around us.”
Feeling connected to this reflection? Join us for our next Swift Steps meeting where we explore the emotional challenges of growth, love, and recovery. Our community is here to support you.
📅 Next Meeting: Saturday at 11:00 AM EST
🔗 Join us: SwiftSteps Membership
