"I Almost Do" from Red
At Swift Steps, we use lyrics and songs to reflect on our own experiences with addiction, mental health, and recovery—both mine and our members.
This week's song struck a chord with many of us, leading to some amazing discussions and insights. I want to assure you that I will never share what our members discuss because of our confidentiality promises.
However, I do gather my own thoughts before the meetings, and I’m excited to share them with you each week!
“I want to assure you that I will never share what our members discuss because of our confidentiality promises.“
This week’s song is "I Almost Do" from Red.
If you want to take a listen:
“Let’s break it down and see how every almost is actually a powerful step forward.”
Have you ever been caught in that quiet, late-night tug-of-war between your past and your progress? I Almost Do by Taylor Swift captures that exact struggle—the pull of old habits, toxic relationships, and the craving to return to what's familiar, even when you know it’s not good for you. This song speaks directly to those moments in recovery when it takes everything in you not to pick up the phone, not to pour that drink, not to fall back into old patterns. Let’s break it down and see how every almost is actually a powerful step forward.
Verse 1
“I bet this time of night you're still up"
Late at night is when it hits the hardest. Cravings, regrets, old coping mechanisms—they all sneak in when the world’s quiet, but your mind’s screaming.
"I bet you're tired from a long hard week"
It’s not just physical exhaustion. Fighting addiction, mental health struggles—it drains you in ways no job ever could. And when you’re drained, that’s when temptation starts whispering.
"I bet you're sittin' in your chair by the window, looking out at the city"
Isolation. That quiet space can feel like peace, but it’s dangerous. Sitting alone with your thoughts? That’s when you start romanticizing the past, forgetting the mess it left behind.
“Addiction is ALWAYS thinking about me. It’s like that ex who won’t let go—just waiting for the right moment to pull me back. But I’m not picking up.”
"And I bet sometimes you wonder 'bout me"
I don’t need to wonder. I know addiction is ALWAYS thinking about me. It’s like that ex who won’t let go—just waiting for the right moment to pull me back. But I’m not picking up.
Chorus
"And I just wanna tell you, it takes everything in me not to call you"
This is it—the fight. Whether it’s calling someone toxic, picking up a drink, or falling back into old habits, not giving in takes everything. People don’t talk enough about how much strength that simple no requires.
"And I wish I could run to you"
Running back is easy. Facing the pain, sitting with those uncomfortable feelings—that’s the hard part. But easy doesn’t mean safe. Easy doesn’t mean healthy.
"And I hope you know that every time I don't, I almost do"
Here’s where the real win is: in the almost. Recovery isn’t about never feeling the pull; it’s about feeling it and still saying no. That’s where the strength lives—in every almost that didn’t turn into did.
Verse 2
"I bet you think I either moved on or hate you"
When we set boundaries—with people or substances—things get twisted. Silence isn’t hate. It’s survival.
"Cause each time you reach out there's no reply"
Ignoring those cravings or toxic people isn’t rejection—it’s self-preservation. And yeah, it hurts sometimes. But every time I don’t reply, I’m choosing me.
"I bet it never ever occurred to you that I can't say 'Hello' to you and risk another goodbye"
Addiction knows this. One “hello,” one slip-up, and I’m risking everything I fought for. So yeah, I stay silent. I don’t risk the goodbye because I’m not starting over again.
Chorus Repeat
This chorus hits different on repeat—because that’s what cravings do. They don’t just knock once. They keep coming. But every time I don’t give in, I’m building muscle. Resilience.
“This chorus hits different on repeat—because that’s what cravings do. They don’t just knock once. They keep coming. But every time I don’t give in, I’m building muscle. Resilience.”
Bridge
"Oh, we made quite a mess, babe. It's probably better off this way."
Addiction, toxic relationships—they leave wreckage behind. But walking away from the mess? That’s how you start cleaning it up.
"And I confess, babe, in my dreams you're touching my face and asking me if I wanna try again with you, and I almost do."
Those dreams? Relapse dreams, using dreams—they feel like betrayal. Even when I’m awake and strong, my subconscious drags me back. But that’s the thing—I almost go back. I almost do. But I don’t.
Final Reflection
I Almost Do is the recovery anthem for anyone who’s ever been on the edge. It’s about the heartbreak of letting go—not because we stopped caring, but because we had to care about ourselves more. The strength isn’t in never feeling tempted. It’s in feeling it and still choosing you. That almost? That’s where the power is.
I Almost Do isn’t just about love lost—it’s about the battles we fight within ourselves every day. The strength in recovery doesn’t come from never feeling tempted; it comes from standing at that edge and choosing yourself, over and over again. Every almost that doesn’t turn into a did is a victory.
“The strength in recovery doesn’t come from never feeling tempted; it comes from standing at that edge and choosing yourself, over and over again. Every almost that doesn’t turn into a did is a victory. ”
If this hits home, join us at our next Swift Steps meeting. We’ll dive into these emotional challenges together, sharing support and strength as we navigate growth, love, and recovery. You’re not alone—we’ve got you.
📅 Next Meeting: Saturday at 11:00 AM EST
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