"Vigilante Shit” from Midnights
At Swift Steps, we use lyrics and songs to reflect on our own experiences with addiction, mental health, and recovery—both mine and our members.
This week's song struck a chord with many of us, leading to some amazing discussions and insights. I want to assure you that I will never share what our members discuss because of our confidentiality promises.
However, I do gather my own thoughts before the meetings, and I’m excited to share them with you each week!
“I want to assure you that I will never share what our members discuss because of our confidentiality promises.“
This week’s song is "Vigilante Shit" from Midnights.
If you wanna take a listen:
“ ‘Vigilante Shit’ feels like a showdown with my addiction—a fight where I finally take back control.”
"Vigilante Shit" is a song that when I sat down to try to find the angle for today's meeting it became so clear. “Vigilante Shit” feels like a showdown with my addiction—a fight where I finally take back control. Addiction betrayed me over and over, whispering lies and making promises it never kept. For years, I let it convince me I couldn’t survive without it, but now I’m reclaiming my story. This song in this context isn’t just about revenge for me; it’s about power—stepping out of shame, calling out the lies, and finally putting myself first.
Verse 1
"Draw the cat eye, sharp enough to kill a man / You did some bad things, but I'm the worst of them."
Addiction is sneaky, but I’ve learned to be not sneakier but sharper. The “cat eye” is armor, and it’s me preparing to face addiction with care and strength. The second line is about owning my mistakes—addiction made me do bad things, but I let it. Now, I’m claiming my role in it, not as a way to shame myself, but as a way to take back control.
"Sometimes I wonder which one will be your last lie / They say looks can kill and I might try."
“Addiction is nothing but lies.”
Addiction is nothing but lies. It promised comfort, escape, and control, but it delivered pain and destruction. This line is me looking addiction in the eye and saying, “I see through you now.” I won’t fall for the deceit anymore. It’s not about rage—it’s about clarity and strength.
Pre-Chorus
"I don't dress for women / I don't dress for men / Lately I've been dressing for revenge."
This isn’t about revenge on others; it’s about revenge on addiction itself. Addiction made me care too much about appearances, about seeming fine while I was falling apart inside. Now, I’m done performing. “Dressing for revenge” means showing up as the person my addiction said I could never be—strong, confident, and unapologetically me. I am both a masterpiece and a work in progress, and there’s power in holding those truths at the same time. I’ve learned I can be strong and vulnerable, capable of growth while embracing every part of who I am.
“Addiction made me care too much about appearances, about seeming fine while I was falling apart inside. Now, I’m done performing. “Dressing for revenge” means showing up as the person my addiction said I could never be—strong, confident, and unapologetically me. ”
Chorus
"I don't start it but I can tell you how it ends / Don't get sad, get even."
“Don’t get sad, get even” isn’t about spite; it’s about turning pain into power and proving that I can make my mistakes purposeful.”
Addiction always ends the same way: shame, regret, and feeling like you’re nothing. But not anymore. This time, I know how it ends—with me standing tall and addiction losing its grip. “Don’t get sad, get even” isn’t about spite; it’s about turning pain into power and proving that I can make my mistakes purposeful. It’s about transforming what once held me back into a driving force for growth, using every lesson learned to build a stronger, more resilient version of myself.
"So on the weekends / I don't dress for friends / Lately I've been dressing for revenge."
Recovery isn’t just something I do when it’s convenient; it’s a daily choice. This line is a reminder to prioritize myself, not just for appearances or validation, but because I’m worth it. Revenge here is about living a life my addiction said I couldn’t have.
Verse 2
"She needed cold hard proof so I gave her some / She had the envelope, where you think she got it from?"
This is about exposing the truth. Addiction thrives in secrecy, and recovery is about tearing down those walls. Owning my story—even the messy parts—takes away addiction’s power and reminds me that honesty is my greatest weapon.
"Now she gets the house, gets the kids, gets the pride / Picture me thick as thieves with your ex-wife."
Addiction tried to take everything from me—my relationships, my dignity, my future. But I’m taking it all back. This line feels like finding solidarity with others who’ve faced similar battles. Together, we rise above what addiction tried to steal.
“Addiction tried to take everything from me—my relationships, my dignity, my future. But I’m taking it all back.”
Pre-Chorus
"And she looks so pretty / Driving in your Benz / Lately she's been dressing for revenge."
This image here is about reclaiming what was lost and finding beauty in the process. Recovery isn’t just about surviving—it’s about thriving, even in the face of what addiction tried to destroy.
Chorus
"She don't start it, but she can tell you how it ends / Don't get sad, get even."
This repeats like a reminder: I know how this story ends now, and it’s not with addiction in control. Choosing myself over and over is how I win this fight.
Bridge
"Ladies always rise above / Ladies know what people want / Someone sweet and kind and fun / The lady simply had enough."
Addiction tried to convince me that I had to be perfect, to meet everyone else’s expectations, even when it was killing me inside. This line is about reaching the breaking point—choosing to stop playing the role and start being real. Recovery is about rising above those old expectations and living authentically.
Verse 3
"While he was doing lines / And crossing all of mine / Someone told his white-collar crimes to the FBI."
Addiction crossed so many of my boundaries, and I let it. Recovery is about setting those boundaries back in place and protecting my peace. This line is about exposing what’s wrong, calling it out, and refusing to let it slide anymore.
Pre-Chorus
"And I don't dress for villains / Or for innocents / I'm on my vigilante shh again."
I’m not dressing up to play a part anymore—I’m showing up for myself. Recovery isn’t about pretending everything’s fine; it’s about owning my truth and doing the work to keep moving forward.
Chorus
"I don't start it, but I can tell you how it ends / Don't get sad, get even / So on the weekends / I don't dress for friends / Lately I've been dressing for revenge."
The final lines feel like a mantra: I’ve seen how the story ends when addiction’s in charge, and I’m choosing a different path. Recovery isn’t about being stronger than addiction—it’s about being honest, intentional, and willing to show up for myself every day. It’s about proving to myself that I have the power to rewrite the story, one decision at a time, no matter how hard it gets.
“Vigilante Shit” is my battle anthem against addiction. ”
"Vigilante Shit" is my battle anthem against addiction. Every set of lines is a reflection of what it means to face addiction head on, call out its lies, and reclaim my power. Recovery isn’t about being perfect or pretending the past didn’t happen—it’s about owning my story, choosing myself, and proving that I’m more than the thing that tried to destroy me. This song is a reminder that even after the darkest betrayals, I have the strength to rise, to thrive, and to take back everything addiction tried to steal.
This line reminds me of the challenge of being in between—balancing my job and Swift Steps, trying to give my all to both without feeling like I’m letting anything slip. It’s not about competition but about the pressure of showing up for everything that matters, even when it feels impossible to give 100% everywhere at once.
“This song is a reminder that even after the darkest betrayals, I have the strength to rise, to thrive, and to take back everything addiction tried to steal.”
Feeling connected to this reflection? Join us for our next Swift Steps meeting where we explore the emotional challenges of growth, love, and recovery. Our community is here to support you.
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